| Does it ever get easier |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|12:04 am] |
I've been in such an incredible writer's block for the past year. Or is it life block. Same thing. Art draws from truth, which is your life. When your life starts grinding to a halt, waking up in the morning becomes pretty terrifying.
I had to turn my music off to write. I can't find the words with noises going on.
Everything in my life has become so difficult. I simply never expected it to get this hard. It just keeps getting harder and harder, I'm sure of it. I know I had a great childhood. I had stresses and frustrations and I hated getting up in the morning and I was always late and every teacher would give me naughty looks but you know, that's never come back to haunt me. There was nothing lost at all for going to class late, for 16 years. It was a cakewalk. Everyone just kept blessing me and blessing me. My teachers loved me. Kids loved me. Narcissistic? You weren't there. Life loved me. It really wasn't that bad at all.
This thing I'm doing now... this isn't what I expected at all. I talked with Jon from the band, and he told me how terrified he was of his old high school friends who gave up.
I won't be one of those people, because I'm only 23 and I'm already terrified. But right now, at this moment, I don't know what to do. I have nothing to write about myself, I'm not interesting anymore. I don't meet women anymore, I'm not engaging. I'm not athletic. I'm not attractive. It's these kind of thoughts that people refer to as a downward spiral, but I'm not depressed. I'll never grant myself that. I've seen some seriously depressed people before, and I've seen some people deal with trauma. I'm not one of them.
It's easy, really. I'm just weak. I was raised weak. I was raised to think wit was wisdom. I'm so goddamn witty that I could weasel my way out of any system... school, work, family, friends, as long as someone had my back. Now nobody has my back, and I don't brush my teeth. Nobody has my back, and I drink on weekdays. Nobody has my back, and I stop working out. Nobody has my back, and I don't meet girls. Nobody has my back, and I watch weird porn. Nobody has my back, and I don't cook. Nobody has my back, and I don't write. Nobody has my back, and I become uninspired. Nobody has my back, and I become cantankerous.
Cantankerous is the right word. Bitter without humor. And weak is what I am. Unable to accomplish my goals without significant unreturned favors. I'm still late. And I still tell people that I care. And I still find excuses.
I'm not even going to say here that I'm going to fix it all here and now. This is march, not the new year. I'm not even going to make it better. I'm not even writing this to get sympathy.
The real reason I'm writing this is because I've written nothing else, and I'm not going to get over my writer's block until I can write this much, because this is all I can think about. This is all that's on my mind. This is my truth. This is my only perspective. Until I can identify with this, I can write nothing else.
The other reason, the fake PS reason I'm writing this, is that I can't believe I'm alone. I know for a fact that nearly everyone I know that's 23 or 24 right now is going through this in one form or another. Sure, someone out there 23 might have a fullbright scholarship and is developing medical equipment logistical transport in rural New Guinea, but we hate them, each and every one.
So for all of you out there to whom this sounds oddly familiar, sound it out. You're not alone. Life was never supposed to be that easy. It's supposed to be hard. So lets get it done, and try not to fuck it all up. Maybe one day I'll record it and all of us sad fucks will request it on 94.7 NRK and help make me as famous as hobo spiders.
The real guitar sap shit:
As we walk to the edge of the fountain you alone are staggering in And as I hold your head underwater I wonder why you're struggling still Cause I have taken the parts worth living sown them under my skin As we walk to the edge of the fountain maybe this time It'll sink in
But then
I wonder When will it stop Getting Harder Getting Harder So I Smoke a little Maybe I Drink too much Maybe I die a little But you'll never see me cry |
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| i salvaged my old creative writing entries! |
[Feb. 7th, 2009|04:54 pm] |
i thought i had lost all of my old creative writing for school in a systems crash and the takedown of my stulocker account, but i just was able to rescue my old hard drive and came up with everything. strangely, i considered myself a fiction writer, but my most favorite works of old were from my poetry classes.
here's one that i was told 'was not poetry,' but yet, i find more amusing than almost anything i have written:
BORN IN THE USA:
The sun holds its quiet light over the blockhouses like a log splitting hatchet. In a window, lovely Roxy Gellapigos takes a pill to induce vomiting. "How was cheerleading?" her mother calls from downstairs. "The girls suck," says Roxy. "They make me want to vomit."
Two houses down in a basement a young man named Brian Warner smokes human bones he dug up from the Irish graveyard. It gives him a headache.
A Mormon comes to the door of Freddy Delman's estate, carrying a DVD that says "Evolution is a racist concept." A girl in the living room hears the doorbell, and manages to tip the chair she is tied to over, and cracks her head like a walnut on the coffee table. Her mouth is trapped with baseball and duct tape. Freddy doesn't come to the door; he is out at work, selling refrigerators.
In the US census, the only noteworthy anecdotes about the city of Dunsworth, IN concerns the abnormally high property tax and second generation Asian American population.
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| youtube comment of the day |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|07:51 pm] |
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What is wrong with implying that the deaths in Gaza are severe and that Obama is showing a little empathy for those suffering in the Gaza Strip and Israel? The title just displays that he has a different view than the current administration. I am just praying to our lord Jesus Christ that president Elect Obama will put President Carter in charge to resolve this conflict that could be compared to Apartheid South Africa. FREE PALESTINE OBAMA! |
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| haven't posted in a while |
[Dec. 21st, 2008|12:53 pm] |
i've been working duct sealing for a while. i've been doing a lot of things that could be explained in many ways for a while... but i figured i'd just start and end with a story.
duct sealing and general house weatherizing means we move into a stranger's house for four hours and stalk throughout the attic, crawlspace, and attic. into every closet and bathroom. we are not the spitting image of residential contractors: we are in fact, for the most part, wayward environmental studies majors with untrimmed beards, and in the case of zack, dreadlocks, conscripted into residential contracting work by the money, the ego (our job was featured on discovery TV's 'dirty jobs') and the wholesome fuzziness of saving people 50% of their heating bill free of cost (we work under the 1000$ cap set by the energy trust, lower than any other company. we lowball so heavy we fucking hit zero.)
but the reality of such lowballing is zack. who is actually a great guy, hard worker, studies the regs, detail oriented. but he has dreadlocks, and he draws up a stare at every house we go to. last week when we showed up at a house, his way of saying 'hello' was knocking a gold-red glass ball off the christmas wreath, shattered on the floor. the homeowner would hear none of it, she cleaned it up herself. an hour later, he knocks over an ironing board leaving a deep blue scrape on the orange interior paint. the homeowner said she had some of the same paint leftover in the garage, but she didn't sound quite as confident.
an hour later, i'm in the garage putting mastic (silly-puddy superglue by the bucket) on the furnace piping when the homeowner, a 50-year old stay-home mom with an out-of-place rash on her neck and a disproportionate beer belly (otherwise picture perfect), stalks out of the house in her bare feet and pajamas into the driveway, into the snow, and lights up a cigarrete. she appears to be sucking ... rage ... through the body of her cigarrete, where it powers some fantastic dynamo in her innards, belching smoke as the mechanical reaction turns over and over and over, feeding her ever-increasing appetite for fury. she looks that mad. I ask her 'is anything wrong.' she says 'something else broke.' i ask her 'what.' and she just raises her finger. silence.
i go back into the house, and find zack peering dumbly over a shattered crystal vase. he asks 'is she mad.' i say 'yeah, she's mad.' he says 'this is bad.'
we don't have too many of these days.
she doesn't say a word to us for about an hour, moving throughout the house like a dementor.
i confront her finally, and say 'i sincerely apologize, we have acted unprofessionally in your home. we'll cover all the costs, and in addition, anything you need us to do while we're here, we'll do.'
somewhere deep in the mechanism of her, i see a gearbox fall through her floor, although it barely shows on the outside. she says 'oh, you're a sweetheart.'
about an hour later she confronts us in the kitchen.
'i'm not mad,' she says. 'i'm not mad. how could i stay mad at boys like you?' she pours a cup of coffee for herself. 'how old are you boys anyway?' '23' '24' '26'. 'god, you're so young. no, i couldn't stay mad. i'm sorry.' she sips the coffee. 'it's just that, i'm sorry.' she sips some more. 'being in my home, you know, when i saw you at the door,' she looks at me. 'you reminded me, i'm sorry, of my son, who passed away this time, november, last year.' she begins sobbing uncontrollably.
i tell her that it must be just horrible. i wait 10 seconds and change the subject.
there was a picture by the front door sitting alone on an antique banister, of a boy, my age, with black hair, a smaller nose.
my father told me i gave the woman just a moment of kindness by being so sincere in my apology, and it let something loose that she had been 'working on' in whatever the ways of grief allow people to work on, and i suppose he's right. but understanding things like this means so little to me. just feeling it, just being there, means everything in the world. i wish that poor woman a happy holidays. i wish we hadn't broken her vase. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|04:40 pm] |
http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/
If, in fact, you are reading this blog and think that Sarah Palin is actually qualified to run the country… well I suggest you check and see if your panties are on because the joke just may be on you. |
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| Youtube comment hall of fame |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|03:17 pm] |
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They are not ashamed to dial a country "power" with such crime perhaps more than any Latin American board .. with a "minority" of manure being African American ... "minority" are most in most criminal use of prisons ah jajaja. .. alive Aryan racial purity Italo-German Argentinean! Nazi fascist Argentine power ...! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|01:17 pm] |
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QUOTE: Wagner's wife kept these massive daily journals and I think I remember an entry that went, "Today, Richard could not find his favorite pencil. He went to the top of the hill and cried out, if I do not find my pencil, I will kill the children." |
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| ah youth |
[Aug. 11th, 2008|02:01 pm] |
ah youth
[QUOTE=Metz;22974655]One of the biggest issues was that I'd always see myself as her fatherly figure and protect her..
I felt in a way like Holden Caulfield... In the protection of the innocence. I'd get mad when people would say things in her bus like rape, masterbation, and sex.
If she were to get un-innocensed.. I'd rather it be by my hand..
I always felt like I had to respond to challenges so if one day someone said something in her bus.. Id challenge it by saying something worse so that way I'd have the lead in making her less innocent.
One of the things that bothers me the most is that if we dont get together she will lose her innocence without me.. Do things without me and I'd be missing out.. She'd have experiences for the first time with someone else.[/QUOTE]
[quote]Me: "Love burns its casualtys"
Me: Ive been burning for 2 months.. And I dont want to burn anymore... Thats why I asked this of you.. To be completely honest and extinguish the fire...[/quote]
[QUOTE=Metz;22974917]Someone answer me though on the whole Marilyn Manson issue. Why did I start to make him my favorite over Rammstein in a course of 3 months when Rammstein has been my favorite for almost 3 years. I know more about Marilyn Manson now than Rammstein.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Metz;22974484]This is a picture of her taken in Mexico.. She is the one in the center wearing black.. (not the Asian girl.. She is British) [/quote]
[QUOTE=Metz;22974498]Btw she is overdramatic I forgot to say. She always has been.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Metz;22974482] ... She is British. She is overdramatic. ... When I first met her I talked to her once 11 hours nonstop on MSN.
...
in May and June we'd talk deeply about how I changed and it ruined us and how she changed and it ruined us.. That my change was a indirect result of her change.. Etc.. Me trying to find explanations to our change. Because all of the sudden she started to seem arrogant and egocentric and when I first met her she had a low self esteem and seemed to idolize me.. She was scared I wasnt gonna like her.
I think I can say that ive evolved into manipulative and possessive in this relationship. ...
So anyways sometime passed and at a party I met this girl and we talked for a while and we went outside and almost made out.. But she said that if she would give me everything then I'd just leave.. So she wanted to go slow.. and we were to build up something together.. Anyways I went to another party at a discotec and I met her there since she was at a quinceanos and I snuck into it without invitation just to see her.. We had shots and danced... And then later that week I went to the beach and when I returned I called her and then we talked and she told me that she wasnt ready for a relationship just yet.
I didnt really like her that much as my ex gf.. SO anyways back to my ex gf story. ... I started to listen to more Marilyn Manson to change my opinion on her to try to dislike her or like her less... I had already started to like Marilyn Manson alot halfway in our relationship.. Rammstein used to be my favorite, now its marilyn manson. ... Multiple phrases from Marilyn Manson songs reminded me of our relationship...(during and after) ... Post if you have questions.. Maybe I missed something or didnt make something clear.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Metz;22974601]I havent talked to her in some time..
But she isnt kissing and isnt falling because I talk to her friends all the time and I check her facebook profile multiple times a day and read her wall to walls. Plus her cellphone is lost (lost in England) so she has no way to communicate with people unless friends call her home.. And close friends are the ones that usually call home. Now that school is starting she has other concerns than finding guys.. She doesnt like most of the guys from Panama. She is somewhat conservative about what she does and feels that relationships are special and not just for anyone.
I knew everything about her 2 weeks before I met her in person..
Infact our meeting was arranged by me.. I told a mutual friend to set us up first by msn then we went out as friends together. The first time I met her in person I gave her her first french kiss ever.
So trust me when I say she is single atm and isnt looking at any guy.[/QUOTE] |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|02:22 pm] |
What's strange to me is this actually makes some kind of sense... perhaps I'm damaged?
Eric Tavulares was fascinated with the movie “Natural Born Killers.”  <A HREF="http://oasc08024.247realmedia.com/R ealMedia/ads/click_nx.ads/www.jsonline.c om/@Position2?x">&a mp;amp;amp;lt;IMG SRC="http://oasc08024.247realmedia.com/R ealMedia/ads/adstream_nx.ads/www.jsonlin e.com/@Position2?x">&a mp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a> He told police he has seen it 10 or 20 times. He told police, according to a complaint filed Monday, that he had been watching it Friday night, the night he strangled his childhood sweetheart, 18-year-old Lauren Aljubouri. According to the complaint: Tavulares, also 18, told police he has had known Aljubouri since the second grade and that they had been dating on and off since the sixth grade. Aljubouri, who graduated in January from Arrowhead High School in Waukesha County, got home around 10:45 p.m. Friday. She and Tavulares lived in an apartment in the 2400 block of N. Frederick Ave., not far from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where Aljubouri planned to study graphic design. Tavulares planned to study fire science at Milwaukee Area Technical College. Tavulares told police they began watching “Natural Born Killers,” a 1994 movie directed by Oliver Stone in which the murder spree of two psychopathic lovers becomes a media obsession. They stopped the movie about halfway, Tavulares said, and went to bed. “He stated he does not recall exactly what happened next,” the complaint says, “but something caused him to switch mentally and he rolled over on Lauren Aljubouri and he began strangling her.” Within three or four minutes, Tavulares said, Aljubouri was dead. “I just never dreamed this could happen to my daughter and that he would ever hurt her like this in a million years,” said Lauren’s mother, Debbie Aljubouri, sobbing during a phone interview Monday night. “We’re just absolutely devastated. She had so much promise in the future, and it’s such a tragic loss.” Debbie Aljubouri said her daughter was independent, driven and intelligent, determined to pursue her passion for the arts at UWM. Lauren Aljubouri had worked at Hartbrook Cafe in Hartland from the time she was 15 until June, painting a mural at the business just before she finished working there, her mother said. Lauren Aljubouri graduated early and with honors from her high school, she said. Lauren Aljubouri handled her search for colleges on her own, telling her mother that all she needed to do was attend the registration session at UWM, Debbie Aljubouri said. “There isn’t anything that girl couldn’t do, no matter what it was, and do it well,” Debbie Aljubouri said. “She just handled everything.” Lauren Aljubouri moved into her apartment within the past few weeks, her mother said. She had worked at Umami Moto, a Milwaukee restaurant, for about a month, said Omar Shaikh, an owner of the business. “She was a wonderful girl, rather quiet, but a very dependable, hard worker,” Shaikh said. “She seemed like a young, happy girl.” Lauren Aljubouri and Tavulares had been dating steadily for the past few years, Debbie Aljubouri said. “I knew him,” Debbie Aljubouri said. “He was turning his life around more this year, I thought.” Tavulares has convictions for resisting or obstructing an officer, possession of an illegally obtained prescription drug and bail jumping, according to online court records. According to the criminal complaint: Tavulares told police that when he realized Lauren Aljubouri was dead, he jumped off her and attempted to resuscitate her. A police officer arrived at their apartment shortly after 3 a.m. Saturday. Tavulares answered the door. “I did it,” he told the officer, according to the complaint. “I can’t believe it. I did it,” he said. The officer followed Tavulares into the kitchen. Without being questioned, according to the complaint, he again told the officer, “I killed her.” Lauren Aljubouri was pronounced dead at the scene. Tavulares is charged with first-degree reckless homicide. He faces up to 60 years in prison. Debbie Aljubouri said she was upset Tavulares was not charged with first-degree intentional homicide. “I don’t understand this,” she said. |
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| DEAR YOUTUBE" : I'M FUCKING CRYING OVER HERE |
[Jul. 21st, 2008|07:14 pm] |
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look i'm going to sum up what kobe is trying to do in a nutshell,when it comes to trying to supplant jordan as the greatest of all time. it all goes back to a guy by the name of Niccolo Machiavelli,he wrote a book named the prince and within its pages lies kobes plan to take jordans place in history. |
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| read this top to bottom |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|03:53 am] |
see if it clicks
POSTMORTEM
After the torturing, her body was dismembered and stuffed the head into a Hello Kitty doll. They discarded most of the other body parts. Only the woman's skull, one tooth and some internal organs have been recovered.[2] The killing was exposed after the 15-year-old girlfriend of one of three men reported having continual dreams of being haunted by Fan's ghost.[2][1] Media reaction The murder quickly became a sensational story in the media. The three men were convicted of manslaughter, because the remains could not identify exactly how she died. They remain incarcerated. Court handling Justice Peter Nguyen of Hong Kong, who sentenced the trio, said, "Never in Hong Kong in recent years has a court heard of such cruelty, depravity, callousness, brutality, violence and viciousness." The trio was convicted of manslaughter and unlawful imprisonment by a jury of the Court of First Instance after a six-week trial. They revealed it to be one of the most gruesome cases in the territory.[2] Cultural reference The publicity around the case resulted in the production and release of movies that told the story. Both Human Pork Chop (烹屍之喪盡天良) and There is a Secret in my Soup (人頭豆腐湯) were released in 2001. |
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| Breathe from the anus deeply |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|01:41 am] |
2channel incident Takami Akai, the producer of the series and a co-founder of Gainax, announced that he would resign his position effective episode five, which aired on April 29, 2007, over comments that he made regarding posts on the Japanese Internet forum 2channel. Akai and another Gainax employee, Keiko Mimori, made disparaging remarks about comments criticizing the animation style of the fourth episode of Gurren Lagann, which was completely directed by guest and friend Osamu Kobayashi. With regard to reading the fan criticisms, Akai stated that it was "like putting [his] face next to an anus and breathing deeply." Fans later became aware of his comments, and he announced his departure from the company he helped to found.[10] |
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| Close to Home |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|04:28 pm] |
"We would love you to be part of our miracle" We are a loving, caring, Jewish couple who are accomplished, secure and happy. It would mean the world to us to share our love with a child and make our life truly complete. We appreciate intelligence, education and learning. If you are a student it would be our pleasure to assist with your tuition and related expenses. You are an ideal donor if you are: - 100% Jewish - have a biological mother and father who are genetically Jewish - a woman between 20 and 30 yrs. old. - between 5' and 5'10" - warm, caring, responsible, reliable - motivated and passionate about what you do - an individual with high self esteem - highly intelligent with high IQ, SAT scores & GPA - attractive - at healthy body weight - a non smoker and drug free - free of genetic diseases (such as Tay-Sachs) in your primary blood line - able to make about 5 visits to a highly respected Fertility Doctor. You will not be carrying a pregnancy. You will not become pregnant. You will be providing an egg. Please e-mail us in confidence, what you feel is special about you, as well as whatever information you feel comfortable with sharing, including adressing the points above such as your age, Sat score, etc. and a recent photo if possible to lohjhbvetjhgare@yahoo.com
- Compensation: JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED $20,000+ ALL EXPENSES PAID
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| FORUM |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|03:02 am] |
a popular post i made in a forum board
--- My parents got married in a public park for free. They didn't even have chairs. People toked up during the ceremony and my mom's sister spiked the punch, their great aunt got drunk and started stripping. Mom's family cooked some random cold-cut picnic stuff for the meal. Dad's friend played on his homemade flute... mom didn't even have a wedding dress. They are also the happiest couple I have ever known. I have to apologize for bringing in the perspective that what's important in life isn't the intricately planned perfection of any individual moment, but the integrity of the life as it exists on a day to day basis. Seriously. ---
Q: How would you make a marriage work? A: Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. (Ricky, Age 10) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|04:00 pm] |

There were signs, if you knew where to look, that the launch of Operation Sea Arrrgh was imminent. In a hundred corners of the internet plots were being plotted; in fancydress shops sales of Guy Fawkes masks were rising and in thousands of dank teenage bedrooms young men and women were making plans to converge on sites around the world, dressed as pirates. Their target was the Church of Scientology - and this was an altogether new way of protesting. It was all so different from how it used to be. For more than a decade, a small group had gathered opposite the Church's London offices to stage lonely demonstrations. Some were former Scientologists, some just angered by an organisation that they claimed split up families, extorted money and employed its followers as slave labour. Leafleting passers-by, explaining themselves to the police and countering - they claimed - the harassment of the Scientologists, they were happy if a dozen turned out. Then, earlier this year, something odd happened. Simultaneously and apparently without warning, in London, Toronto, Sydney, New York and other cities worldwide, young men and women began protesting en masse. They wore strange clothes, spoke their own dialect, distributed cake and operated under the name of Anonymous. They returned the next month - and the month after. Who were these people? To the police, watching last Saturday's London protest, they are a quirky bunch of middle-class kids. “These are the nicest protesters I have ever had the privilege of policing,” one said. “They even bring lunch.” Sure enough, behind the barricades, there is a large table of crisps and soft drinks. Demonstrators offer biscuits to passers-by. One of their placards reads: “We have cake, they have lies.” The police description is broadly accurate - most Anonymous members are indeed middle-class teenagers. They see themselves as guardians of free speech, fighting a malign organisation that bases its ideology on stories about aliens. They cover their faces because they are scared of reprisals. But also because anonymity is, well, what they do. Why, though, has a bunch of young people, connected only by the internet, decided to target a US religion started 50 years ago by a science-fiction writer? Why not the Iraq War, nuclear weapons or climate change? One answer is that they believe they can achieve something with Scientology. The most realistic of Anonymous's aims is to revoke the group's tax status - it is exempt from some VAT payments and receives rebates on other taxes. But the point is moot. You might as well ask why their most popular song is Never Gonna Give You Up, a 1987 hit by Rick Astley, or why they laugh at pictures of cats. And why are most of their masks a depiction of Guy Fawkes from the film V for Vendetta? Internet memes are not always logical. It all began as a running gag. The default name for new members on message boards is often “anonymous”, and someone suggested that maybe anonymous could be a real person. People began acting as one and the idea went viral. “We are the hive mind, the anger that leaked from the computer screen,” explains a long-haired twentysomething with an eye patch, standing in the June sunlight last week. “The cult failed to understand how things arise out of a mass consciousness, and now they have kicked the hornets' nest. What you are seeing here is the emergence of a new kind of democracy.” The internet is the one element that has dictated the nature of Anonymous, allowing informal membership, and a leaderless organisation structure barely recognisable from the protest movements of old. “The common assumption today is that young people are apolitical, disengaged, hedonistic and only interested in partying,” says Bart Cammaerts, a lecturer in media and communications at the London School of Economics. “This is wrong. The internet is not a guarantee of success, but it has allowed people to inform, recruit, mobilise and organise.” Anonymous's initial activities were silly - playing tricks or hijacking forums. Some were borderline legal. They would bring down websites by bombarding them with data (“distributed denial of service”). “Frankly, it wasn't very noble. But it was fun,” explained one Anonymous, who called himself Halfdark. They have a word to describe such activities - lulz (see panel). Early this year, a video was posted online of Tom Cruise discussing Scientology. Unintentionally funny in its sincerity, it spread across the internet. Scientology called in the lawyers, and began forcing sites to remove it. Anonymous had a target. “They had started screwing with the internet,” said Marc Abian, named afterthe Scientologists' belief in an evil race of aliens called the Marcabians. “Initially we harassed them for lulz, but then we realised that they ruin lives. What we do is fun, but with a real cause.” Last Saturday targeted Scientology's elite Sea Org - a pseudo-paramilitary group that used to own a ship. Hence the pirate costumes and the name - Operation Sea Arrrgh (as in “Arrrgh, me hearties”). “We get asked: ‘Why can't people believe what they want?'” said a young woman, holding a plastic cutlass. “The answer is, we are not targeting the beliefs, but the Church. Why does it take people's money? Why does it split people from their families? It is a dangerous cult.” As she spoke, a chant began. Pointing alternately to Scientology's UK headquarters in Blackfriars, London, and the next-door Church of Saint Andrew by the Wardrobe, the crowd cheered: “This is a cult, this is a church. This is a cult, this is a church.” A few tourists laughed, the policemen shuffled. It was, oddly...cultish. At first, Anonymous kept their previous tactics - but they were counterproductive as Scientology could say that it was the victim of a bullying campaign. So Mark Bunker, a prominent critic of the Church not associated with Anonymous posted a message on YouTube asking them to work within the law. Bunker argued that their actions were damaging the work of campaigners such as him and websites like xenu.net. Anonymous listened. They now revere Mark Bunker as Wise Beard Man (“his words are wise, his face is beard”). When I asked the police on Saturday if they were expecting trouble, one laughed. “They aren't a problem,” he said. “I just wish that they'd stop playing that bloody Rick Astley song.” Just before lunchtime, the protest shifted to a smaller Scientology centre on Tottenham Court Road. And so we set off on the Tube - pirates, dancing to the theme tune from the cult 1990s US comedy Fresh Prince of Bel Air. We were a conga line composed of internet memes. Rarely, though, has there been a more polite mob. We had leaflets, we explained ourselves to tourists and everyone seemed to take it as fun - even when a train was boarded to the pirate cry “We be commandeering this vessel!” The “Dianetics and Scientology life improvement centre” on Tottenham Court Road, probably feels less charitable. Talking over Rick Astley, the Scientologist inside handed me a leaflet on the founder L. Ron Hubbard's masterwork, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. “To be honest, they probably just give us extra publicity,” she said.Here, instead of a church, there was a KFC, and the chant morphed to “Chicken. Cult. Chicken. Cult.” Around the corner, Epic Nose Guy granted me an interview. He wears a long-nosed Venetian mask and is the closest thing that Anonymous has to a celebrity. Two months ago, he very nearly appeared in court - after he held up a placard calling Scientology a cult. His case was taken up by Liberty, the human rights group, and was even championed in this paper. “I believe in freedom of speech, so I made a big sign saying ‘Scientology is not a religion, it's a dangerous cult'.” He smiles. “Within ten minutes, the police asked me to take it down, but I ignored them. If you give away your right to say what you want on a sign, you're giving away your right to protest, full stop.” So he was presented with a court summons. The case was dropped but he must have been worried? “Absolutely. It was scary - I was in the middle of my GCSEs.” We're in it for the 'lulz': understanding the lingo Caitlin Moran As human beings, our concept of how things get done is based around heroes. Che Guevara. William Wallace. Guy Debord. History's fulcrums. Leaders. This, then, is why Anonymous is such a thrillingly novel thing. Anonymous has no heroes. It's just a sniggering swarm of geeks with an arsenal of slang and fire in their bellies. Initially, it was the slang that drew me into Anonymous, through the affiliated websites 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica. As a woman with three teenage brothers, I wanted to know why they kept shouting “I WONZ you, n00b” and why, if I mistimed a gag, they said, witheringly, “Rofl”. I found out they were getting all their new words from Encylopedia Dramatica. They were speaking “l33t-speak” - a slang developed on chatboards and multi-roleplayer games. It plays more with the look of words than the sound. Meaning is altered with intentional typos (”moar” is ultra-more). Acronyms are huge: GTFO (get the f*** out), ROFL (roll around on the floor laughing), IRL (in real life), ZOMG (oh my god) - but all are used with weary irony. Additionally, there are in-jokes (LOLcats) and lodestone quotes from games and films - “Epic win”, “Goodnight, sweet prince”, or “Tonight, we dine in HELL”. The key word, however is “lulz” - an acronym that has been fleshed back out into a word. Like “Hakuna matata” in The Lion King, “lulz” is not just a word, but a philosophy. Lulz are the laughs that you get when you do something unexpected and possibly slightly wrong - partly to amuse others, but, most importantly, to amuse yourself. As Encyclopedia Dramatica explains: “Johnny Cash became the ultimate lulz pioneer with Folsom Prison Blues and the lyrics: ‘I shot a man in Reno, just for the lulz'.” And it is the lulz that are Anonymous's great weapon. For it would be easy for Scientologists to fight back if they were being attacked by a single, heroic, Michael Moore-type. But no one has ever had to fight geeks dressed up as pirates. Anonymous has made campaigning sexy for the first time since 1968. The lulz is, after all, the ancient spirit that once made the young become Marxists, or sail off to the New World. Now it's been rediscovered by a bunch of World of Warcraft fans with a grudge against Tom Cruise. Epic win, as they would type, with a sarcastic sigh. |
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| and fuck you |
[Jun. 19th, 2008|02:35 am] |
you are all fucked
more to come in chapter 2... |
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| Super Torture Man Redux |
[May. 17th, 2008|08:43 pm] |
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200806/college
One of the things I try to do on the first night of English 102 is relate the literary techniques we will study to novels that the students have already read. I try to find books familiar to everyone. This has so far proven impossible. My students don’t read much, as a rule, and though I think of them monolithically, they don’t really share a culture. To Kill a Mockingbird? Nope. (And I thought everyone had read that!) Animal Farm? No. If they have read it, they don’t remember it. The Outsiders? The Chocolate War? No and no. Charlotte’s Web? You’d think so, but no. So then I expand the exercise to general works of narrative art, meaning movies, but that doesn’t work much better. Oddly, there are no movies that they all have seen—well, except for one. They’ve all seen The Wizard of Oz. Some have caught it multiple times. So we work with the old warhorse of a quest narrative. The farmhands’ early conversation illustrates foreshadowing. The witch melts at the climax. Theme? Hands fly up. Everybody knows that one—perhaps all too well. Dorothy learns that she can do anything she puts her mind to and that all the tools she needs to succeed are already within her. I skip the denouement: the intellectually ambitious scarecrow proudly mangles the Pythagorean theorem and is awarded a questionable diploma in a dreamland far removed from reality. That’s art holding up a mirror all too closely. |
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